The injured people were resting in the supply cart. Some number of men were left behind to guard the. Bringing only the strong and veteran Hunters, they headed for the settlement where there might be a King Frog-man— It was decided that we were going to attack it.

[ED: I noticed the author was actually using『』for chants, so I’ve decided to not use them for anything except thing related to the status. Terms unique to this setting will still be capitalized. Also, the author does a really good job of providing context for who’s speaking, so I’m going to try leaving the labels out. I’ve even been omitting text before so it didn’t get too redundant lol.]

If this was a normal novel, then the protagonist, me, would be in the subjugation unit, but as a vending machine Ramis and I stayed behind. Well, our mission was to supply food to begin with, so this much is expected.


The Fool’s Eccentric party, led by Kerioiru (what poor naming sense), joined the King Frog-man hunt. Also, there are supposedly only a small number of Frog-men protecting the King, so we can just relax here. In other words, it’s selling time! We were near the supply cart, so let’s earn a bit of points.




“There are hot meals and drinks— drinks are only 1 silver!”


Ramis reacted to my call by helping out. It seems it was the right time to take a rest, and cup ramen, tea, and sports drinks sold the most. At first many people didn’t like the weird taste of the sports drinks, but the rumour that drinking it would relieve your fatigue prompted many Hunters to buy it. As a matter of fact the sports drink with the blue and white logo was originally developed as a medicine. I remember that in the past it helped when I was having a cold or diarrhea. It’s the perfect drink for a situation like this where everyone is tired.


“Ha, when I can eat warm food without needing to make a fire, I can’t get enough.”

“We don’t even have to clean, it makes me really happy.”

“Aah, I want one on my team.”


A vending machine’s ability is really useful for Hunters, so they are looking at me enviously. It’s already troublesome enough with the perverted leader, and now I have to look out for the other Hunters too.


Ramis is smiling happily since other people are complimenting me. She doesn’t understand the meaning of their gaze… if this keeps up…


“Sorry, but can someone help out with the injured ones?”


“Ah, I will help! Hakkon, I’m going to leave you alone but don’t cry just because you got lonely, ok?”


— “Please come again.”


“Whats with that? Then, I’m going.”


I responded to her teasing with a quick retort, so she acted a little angry by pouting, then left. If I was in my real body it might have looked like an interaction between a couple, but I’m just a machine…


“Utto, that gullible one went away. Now’s the time.”


A short man with a tooth protruding was looking and suspiciously and walked towards me. I know it’s the worst judging people by their looks, but I have to say it. He looks way too shady.


What else can I say? He looks like some small-fry. I want to give him the title of “little criminal”. He’s getting closer while humming, his eyes seems to be licking me all over. When I see his gaze, I notice he’s looking at the place where you insert your ****.


[ED: Just kidding, it says money.]


“Hmm, what should I buy?”


The small-fry looking Hunter said that in a really loud idiotic voice, and he tries to insert a silver pick in the place for coins. Aa, this guy, he wants to rob my money. Then, I should take the appropriate response for this.




I said it at my loudest volume.




Oh, he was surprised enough to jump. My voice and his attracted the attention of others. Now, what will you do in this situation?


“He-hee, he really can talk. It really is amazing.”


Oh? Acting like you’re admiring me, your expression looks really forced. If you drop the act and buy something I’ll let you go, but you don’t seem like an honest human.


“You, if you really understand my voice then give me the money… unless you want to be destroyed, understand?”


He said it in a low voice. Oh, this asshole just started kicking me. Hou hou, don’t underestimate vending machines just because we don’t have limbs.


I will show you the power of a vending machine!! I dropped a mineral water down, and the man’s look became visibly happier. The moment he pushed his hand through the flap, I dropped another product.


“Again, that sound…. HOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Hot, hot gyaa!”


Fuhahahaha, corn soup which I heated to it’s maximum capacity. However, I’m not done yet.


–“If you win, you get another one for free.”


I dropped more continuously so that he couldn’t take away his hands. This is the price you pay for hurting my beautiful body and trying to steal my money. I will never forgive you. Continue to suffer from the heat, muahahahaha.


“Sh-shit! A mere box dares to underestimate me?! I will destroy you!”


He took out a sword with his other hand and brandished it at me. I can block it with『Barrier』but even if I just took the hit the damage will be little. I will let you hit me as proof of your deed. I had decided that, but before the sword reached me it suddenly stopped.


“What are you trying to do to Hakkon….”


This is Ramis’s scary voice. She must’ve rushed over once she heard the crowd. This girl can really get scary. The man is frozen looking at Ramis. Her face was that scary. The more you see her adorable face during the day, the more her terrifying her change is.


“No, it’s not what it looks like! I just tried to take the goods, but too many products dropped and I couldn’t take my hands out!”


“Didn’t you do something bad before?”


Nice Ramis. I might fall in love with her ability to read the mood with her sharp instinct.


“I didn’t do shit! This guy did it by itself!”


“Hakkon, did he really do nothing bad?”


–”Too bad.” [No]


“You see, Hakkon says you’re guilty.”


“What are you saying. Are you going to trust a box rather than me, you should know—-”


“Of course I believe in Hakkon more.”


She answered instantly. That’s how strong her trust in me is. I’m so happy that I’ll hug her if I ever grow hands. Also, I need to give more presents to this jackass. The soups got a bit colder  but I’ll crush him with the weight.


“Ouchhhhhhhhh! This box asshole, stop!”


“Now that I think about it, aren’t you that Gugoiru guy I’m supposed to be careful of, you must be that guy the guildmaster warned me about.”

[ED: Gugoiru is his name.]


“Heh, n-no. Of course not!”


Uwaa, he sucks at acting. He is sweating profusely and looking away. You are practically admitting it with your act.


“Ramis-chan. That guy is Gugoiru, he’s famous for doing shady stuff.”


An old man who showed his head from a cart told us. Ah, this person, he was the guy who taught his subordinates how to use me. I should take note that he’s a good person.


“Fuuuun, then I guess I don’t have to hold back.”


She is made a poki poki sound with her arm and smiled. Somehow, it was really scary. In the end he was tied up by a rope and beaten to a pulp, then he was sent to the cart.


“Th-this is bad! Oi, everyone retreat! The huge one is coming this way!”
I saw a huge frog surrounded by fire hopping our way.


  • Rosver

    That was actually funny. Just say thanks shady character that Hakkon doesn’t fall over. Did you know how many people have died by being crushed by vending machines? You really are lucky.

    The last sentence though describe a frog that is being roasted. A big feast is to come?

  • Thanks for the chapter.

  • Mri_kel

    Thanks for the chapter,
    Here Hakkon is probably going to have to use his barrier to save them.

    • deadlybell

      or fall on the frog and squish it LOL

  • Thanks for the chapter dood!!! 😀

  • deadlybell

    that moment when even as a vending machine the guy can get a waifu who cares about him.

  • Sk8er Boi

    • Wow, this is so embarassing. I thought I had “Thanks!” in my Paste, but it was the title of a Avril Lavigne’s song! The shame! It is too much to bear!


  • Leech

    Thanks for the work!

  • Pun


  • evil

    Huhu, Ramis was like a yandere, minus the craziness, with just love and protective.

    • LK

      She beat him to a pulp I don’t think it’s missing the craziness

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